LOTS OF LAUGHTER
No one makes me laugh like Amanda Hamilton. I’m talking about the kind of laughter
that makes your cheeks hurt and tears stream down your face. Amanda is that kind of funny.
Although Amanda was always performing for others, she spent
most of her time backstage. That’s
where I met her; we were on the stage crew together in high school. Active in the local theatre community,
school was more of an obligation than anything else. Amanda was always smart, but school wasn’t a priority; Amanda
had other things to do. Because of her involvement in the local theatre
community she was often out late and therefore, often tardy to class. She would bribe the secretary in the
attendance office with Egg McMuffins in exchange for a late slip. With her quick wit and the ability to
turn on the Southern charm when needed, Amanda always seemed to be in control.
LIKE A COOL BIG SISTER
A senior when I was a freshman, Amanda was far more
worldly than any other high school student I knew. She had her own car, a late model white Volvo that was
always filled with random props and costumes from whatever show she was working
on, tapes (yes, tapes) of show tunes, and fast food bags. She didn’t really hang out with other
students, but she was willing to hang out with me. She was like the cool big sister who was nice enough to let
me tag along and smoke the occasional cigarette. My first hangover was a result of a night drinking Zima at
Amanda’s house. We sang show tunes,
spent our spring break doing local Shakespeare in the Park, and talked
incessantly about moving to New York.
Her grand plans for New York were sidelined as she made an
almost decade long detour along the Gulf Coast. For someone who always seemed like an adult, she still had some growing up to do. She shares with me a piece of wisdom passed on by a friend
during those turbulent years. “She told me every woman between 19 and 26 should
be locked away because they are insane, untrustworthy and likely to get you
arrested,” Amanda laughs, “And that was true.”
FINDING OUR WAY
But eventually Amanda found her way to New York. Along the way friends renamed her
Maggie. It became a reinvention of
sorts, a way to say goodbye to her childhood. She settled in an apartment in
Hells Kitchen, just four blocks from my own. Every Sunday night we would get together for dinner and
watch Sex and the City and Queer as Folk. New York can be a lonely place despite the swarms of people,
and Amanda provided the comfort that comes with familiarity.
Amanda worked in IT while trying to find her place in the NY
theatre scene. Her impeccable work
ethic, and her talent on and off stage, began to pay off. She found her tribe and was soon an
active member of the downtown theatre world, producing new work and winning
awards.
Eventually, she left New York for London. We visit via Skype and before we know
it, two hours have passed. As always,
there was laughter; but there were also a few tears along the way. We talk about the loves that have come
and gone, as well as old friends. Amanda
and my mom were kindred spirits.
As we talk, Amanda tells me about the first time they met. It was in the school auditorium. Amanda explains, “She looked at me like
I know and I looked at her the same
way, but we both knew nothing would be said about it.” Amanda had not yet come out as a
lesbian, but in my mother she found an ally.
Now married to her first real love, a woman she met in
Florida while in her 20’s, they live in London where Amanda does IT for a
healthcare company. The girl who
coasted through high school is now a diligent student working toward her MBA.
TRUTH BOMB
We have the kind of friendship that comes from a place of
genuine love and respect, so we can be honest with one another, drop the
truth bomb from time to time, and know that it comes without judgment. She
tells me that my mother still speaks to her sometimes, giving her
guidance. She remembers the
promise she made to her just before she died, a promise to watch over me. I’ve always felt safe with Amanda, like
if I needed her she would be my protector.
We marvel at the journey we’ve each had and how our stories
are interwoven in many ways. It’s
a story about how two girls from Mobile, Alabama, who at times faced great obstacles,
have managed to find our way in the world.
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